Yours Quietly, Tom Thumb

by | Sep 8, 2022 | Yours Quietly | 2 comments


Dear Nadia,

Why do people communicate with voice messages on messenger and what’s app? What is it with all this talking and voice recording? I’m 16 and talking to people on voice chat is difficult for me.

Why can’t we just text? I’m sure that’s why we have thumbs!

I worry about how I sound to other people. I hear other people speaking and they sound so grown up and like they really know what they’re talking about.

When it’s my turn to say something, my voice starts trembling or I stumble over my words. And when I’m panicking, it’s hard to put my thoughts into words.

So, I don’t say anything. I wish I could be confident like everyone else. Feeling like this is stopping me from socialising.

Yours Quietly,

Tom Thumb


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Dear Tom Thumb,

I remember a time before text messaging was invented! I know, I am ancient.

Back in those days, we had to just phone people and speak to them. The invention of texting was a blessed relief for shy people, let me tell you.

Personally, if I have the use of at least one finger, or maybe even just my nose, I will text. Unless I’m hanging upside down off a tall building, I’d rather type my messages.

Just as some of us drink tea, and others coffee, some people prefer to voice message. They just do. And that’s fine. We all have our preferences.

But, if you do decide that you want to improve your voice message game, or you want to join in with a group conversation, that’s OK too.

Go easy. And start small.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to be cracking jokes and regaling your mates with complicated stories or jokes where the punchline is buried deep in a 17-minute monologue.

Set yourself a tiny challenge to just say something. It could be anything, even just a couple of words. Asking a question is a good place to start.

And, if you like to write. Why not write down what you want to say, roughly, before you say it. The beauty of a voice message is that nobody can see your notes!

Keep it simple and build up gradually. Each time you do say something, give yourself a pat on the back, or a little reward.

Yours Quietly,

Nadia x


If you need more support finding your voice, personally or professionally, I can help.

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  1. Fiona

    I love this question and advice. So useful for all of us who struggle on the phone. I panic when the phone rings and invariably let it go to voicemail so I can reply when I’m ready. Thanks Nadia.

  2. Nadia

    If you’d like to email me in private, please do. I promise not to publish it. x


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