Sheila Kadeer is the Operations Director of Cloud 9 Minds Ltd which is a company that is trying to get mental health talked about in the workplace. She is passionate about health and wellbeing after suffering from burnout when she served as a Police Officer. This led her to train in NLP and Coaching. She is also works with CEO’s and leaders and helps with business strategy and product innovation using her psychic and intuitive abilities.
“It all began as a child, you don’t mix with other children, you want to be on your own, you’re not very forward and your parts say “its alright, she’s just shy” and then you become this shy child.
I always shied away from big groups, I was the nerdy one, had a passion for learning. I needed to be by myself.
I have always stayed in the background. Never wanting to put myself forward. I worked in corporate and it was always the loud ones who got promotions. I feel it hampered my career. I joined the police in 2004 and found front line policing extremely difficult as I would not get out of my comfort zone at all although I excelled in dealing with victims of crime and was one of the first officers in the force to become a Specifically Trained Officer dealing with victims of rape.
I do not like any kind of networking events and as a network marketer this is a real issue. I will be the one at the back of the room, looking awkward and not speaking to anyone. I do my best to avoid social situations so I don’t have to talk to people.
I don’t put myself out there so I missed out on recognition and promotions. I found it so difficult as a front line officer as you were expected to be confident and speak to anyone and I really had to push myself hard. I have started my own businesses and being visible causes me to shake and so everything will take longer and success won’t be as quick.”
What are the biggest challenges you face as a shy person?
Feeling socially awkward, saying the wrong thing as I am nervous and then feeling like an idiot.
How did you shyness play out in the corporate workplace?
I felt that I was held back and I wasn’t loud enough because the jobs required me to deal with people. The one time that I tried to belied and forceful, people thought that something was up with me!
Working in a job that is in complete opposition to your personality. How did that impact you in your personal life? Did it have an effect on you and how you felt?
Yes, I used to have a cool down in the car to get back to me. I found I wanted to get off of the front line as soon as possible and because of my other qualities I was put into another position where those qualities were a b benefit.
What are the positives of being shy, in your opinion?
I don’t talk but I do listen. Because I listen, people like me and feel comfortable to offload their problems on to me.
It allows me to observe from the sidelines, then make my move in a calculated way. I can take my time, weigh up my options, then act. I use this in businesses by offering digital solutions as my primary way of working which allows me to reach a larger audience without actually speaking to people.
What practical advice would you give to other shy people?
See it as a positive. Even though you may be shy you can still have a mighty power and impact on the world.
Quotes from the Episode:
“I would be on the periphery, just looking and seeing how people acted with each other.” [00:03:31]
“Maybe being different is about you finding your own way of being instead of copying others.” [00:08:04]
“Using the quieter side of me meant I got more out of them and they related to me better.” [00:15:56]
“One of the key things that I do as a shy person is meditate. It really helps to call me and get my thought together so I can go on with the rest of my day.” [00:22:32]
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